I keep telling people, quadriplegia is downright hilarious. Somewhere within its rules, regs. and covenants ( which seem to be made up of snippets of Murphy’s Law, Dante’s Inferno and a little Nietzsche) is a really good, well told joke. Whatever.
As many of you know, I am trying to endure an extended stretch of bed rest because of the terrible wound on my right butt cheek. Tomorrow marks day number 40. Currently my progress has been negligible. Honestly, it’s seriously heartbreaking to think about. Today, Jayne, the nurse and I began to assemble a new plan of attack in order for me to accrue some semblance of control (mental, emotional) over this perfect shit storm. Bottom line, new doctor, new facility and a new course of treatment. Continue reading “Putting out fires, with gasoline!”
Yes, I’m writing a blog post. Well wonders never cease, yes?
As strange as it seems, the last 30 days ended on a high note. Yes, I’m looking at probably
30 more days in bed, which sucks nuts but yesterday, actually it was Friday returning home from the doctor’s office, I came to a substantial realization. You might want to call it an epiphany, it wasn’t as dramatic as that but I came to realize some important things about how I spend my time and my struggles to try and be productive. Continue reading “This isn’t a joke to me. But it is f*king hilarious.”
The most thrilling moment of my life occurred about two months after my accident(which I’ve lovingly dubbed The Big Bummer). I was progressing at a snail’s pace toward what I can only imagine was going to be my new normal (whatever the hell that was.) I was moved out of the intensive care unit after a nightmarishly long stint that was accompanied by routine nightmarish morphine trips, a nightmarish bitch of a nurse whose evil was augmented by her heart shredding hotness but the two screws tightened sharply into the base of my skull.
If indeed, it’s true that I’m going to hell (simply an educated guess on my part along with innumerable suggestions from certain women in my past life. However, when I roll into church, the ceiling still holds) my years of preparation of entering and reemerging from the string of horrors immediately after my accident should see me through fine. Each step I take now (figurative sarcasm) down my yellow brick road is accompanied by some form of final exam or certification before I can move on. To get out of ICU they had to stabilize my neck. Two plates and about 18 inches of wire later my ticket was stamped and I was declared stable to venture forth onto the Neurologic floor where my quest for answers continued. Once all the spaghetti has hit the fan, all the spaghetti, the end, who or what will I be?
The cervical vertebrae are the bones of the neck that begin right at the base of the skull.